The things every high-achiever should know
It’s funny how the tiniest tweak in the structure of an activity can completely influence your choices (and subsequently, your success rate). Don’t believe me? Check out this TED talk by behavioral economist Dan Ariely on irrational behavior.
As I get busier, I notice that these small structural changes to my goals make all of the difference. Here are a few examples:
a) I used to never be able to find time to watch TED talks – I think I watched one or two since January. But ever since discovering the download feature on the TED Android app, I’ve been watching 10+ talks per week on the subway.
b) I have a speech I need to write by June, but there is only so much creative inspiration I can generate on weekends, so I set a goal to work on the speech every day up until the deadline. In the past, I’ve always failed to spread out work over many days, and I always ended up cramming at the last minute. But I made a slight tweak to the structure of this goal that made all of the difference: I only need to work on it for only 10 minutes a day. A 10-minute commitment is so low, no matter how tired I am, it gets my butt on the chair and working. More often than not, I get into a flow-state at the 5 minute mark, so I end up working longer than the required ten minutes.
c) I’ve always wanted to learn to code in a high-level language like Python or PHP. But reading massive textbooks and lugging them around with me if I want to do work at a cafe is very burdensome. Once Codecademy came onto the scene, I found a means to learn to code right on my computer in a free, self-contained learning environment. The result? I’m three weeks into an intensive Javascript course.
Tiny tweaks in how you approach goals can make all of the difference, especially for those who are consistently pressed for time or lacking motivation. I plan on writing more about that topic in the future. But in the meanwhile, understanding self-gamification is a great first step to understanding how to properly set up and structure your goals. From there, conduct experiments on your own goals and see what you can discover about what drives you to take action.
In: Persistence
8 Apr 2012“Being realistic is the most common road to mediocrity. Why would you be realistic? What’s the point? It just puts up a barrier.”
-Will Smith
Is being a little crazy a good thing?
Will Smith makes a good point (see the quote above). For many worthwhile endeavors, the odds of success are so low, the effort required so high, the sacrifices so great, that those who were dedicated enough to actually persist through the mind boggling odds must have a characteristic that keeps them going when the average person quits.
I believe that the three main attributes required to overcome such intimidating odds are:
a) A powerful vision that fills you with purpose
b) A solid plan that can actually bring you success
c) A little bit of craziness
Developing a powerful vision and solid plan are topics for a separate post (and there are plenty of great resources on these topics if you’re curious – just visit Amazon.com). For that reason, I want to write about craziness – I feel it isn’t discussed frequently enough in the personal development world. But I believe it’s true that all highly successful people need to be at least a little crazy. And before we move any further, allow me to define what I mean by “crazy.”
For the purposes of this post, let’s define crazy as someone who possesses, for better or for worse, a view of themselves and the world that doesn’t stay true to reality, as objectively measured by statistics and probabilities.
So the craziness I am referring to in the scope of personal development is believing that you will succeed even when every rational statistician would bet against you. When your odds are 1/1,000,000, but you choose to fight through anyway. When you’ve failed 999 times before, but you believe that attempt #1,000 will be the one that changes your life.
Being realistic about everything is for the mediocre
Whether your goal is to find true love, start a successful company or change the world, those who are insistent on being “real,” “rational” or “correct” are the ones who are dooming themselves form the start.
Consider a scene from the popular sitcom show “How I Met Your Mother,” in which Ted is trying to convince a dating specialist that he doesn’t need her help:
Ellen: You give me 3 days and I will find the woman you will marry.
Ted: No, thanks. I don’t need an algorithm to meet women. It’s New York, you know. Plenty of fish in the sea!
Ellen: Plenty of fish in the sea! [grabs a calculator form the desk and starts clicking away] There’s 9 million people in New York. 4.5 million women. Of course, you want to meet someone roughly your own age – let’s say plus, minus 5 years. So if you take into account the most recent census data that leaves us with 482,000 women. But wait! 48% of those are already in relationships, and then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor and compatibility. And then you have to take out the ex girlfriends and the relatives. And, oh, you can’t forget those lesbians. And then that leaves us with 8 women.
Ted: That can’t be right! Eight? Really? Eight?
Ellen: There are 8 fish in that big blue ocean, Ted. And if you feel confident that you can reel one into your boat without me, there’s the door.
Ted: Do you take credit cards?
Could you imagine if every guy were given the exact odds that they’ll meet someone that’s perfect for them? It would simply dissuade and discourage, rather than help. I know of many friends who prefer to think along the lines of, “destiny will bring me the person that is right for me, so I must keep looking.” Even though that attitude isn’t grounded in science or realistic probabilities, it is that kind of attitude that often keeps the hopeful person in the game for much longer than any rational person would. And staying in the game is the only way you will ever meet the right person. Furthermore, this idea leads to an interesting conclusion:
A belief grounded in non-reality can oftentimes be the reason you achieve real results when “rational” people don’t even bother because the odds are so low.
Powerful examples of this phenomenon in action can be found in the stories of Holocaust survivors (see Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl for more on this), famous actors and other celebrities, successful entrepreneurs, war heroes, victims of tragedy and more. Whether surviving through pain and suffering, or giving their all to try and change the world, the odds are never good for these people. Only by maintaining a crazy view of the world – and their ability to succeed in it – were they able to wake up every day with enough hope to get themselves through to the next day.
Imagine an entrepreneur woke up every morning and reviewed the failure rate of all start-up businesses in his industry. Imagine a war hero woke up every morning and reviewed how many comrades have died in the war he was fighting, and his subsequent chances for survival. These reality checks are just not conducive to fighting the good fight. And they never will be as long as we are emotional creatures that rely on hope.
You have a choice to make
You have two choices you can make in any endeavor. The first is to be realistic, rational and honest with yourself and choose to not pursue it (or at least limit how much time you spend on it) because you don’t have what it takes to see it through. The other choice is to pursue it with such a ferocity and fire, that you believe you have what it takes to become the best in the world. Most of your choices should be the former – no one in the world has the time, nor ability, to pursue everything with such fire and drive. But it becomes an issue when you don’t apply the latter to any of your goals.
Stop reading right now, and ask yourself: Which endeavor in my life am I going to pursue with a crazy, unmitigated ferocity? And can I promise myself that I will work at it until I’m the best in the world?
Have you identified a goal or endeavor that is important enough to you to meet the requirements in the question above? If not, some soul searching will do you good. Life is less enjoyable without purpose behind your actions (for more on this, I must again recommend Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl).
If you identified a goal that’s immensely valuable to you, take it from Will Smith: Being realistic is the surest route to mediocrity. So be unrealistic. Be irrational, and even slightly crazy. It’s those slightly distorted beliefs about your ability to succeed that will push you past the horribly discouraging failure and lack of results that all high-achievers experience (Seth Godin refers to this as “making it through the dip”) until you break through to the successful side. Just link that crazy attitude with a solid plan and a worthwhile purpose and you’re ready to go.
I’m personally tired of being so rational all the time. It’s time to bet on my success, despite the odds. It’s time to politely ignore those who dissuade me (even though they will use perfectly sound logic and rational thinking to argue against me). It’s time to develop effective action plans and see them through as if my life depended on it. Even if I don’t make it through to the successful side, I will have infused my life with purpose and can know for the rest of my life that I gave it my all.
Are you ready to stop being so realistic all the time?

This pain. It hurts. It hurts a lot. It’s the pain of failure we’ve all experienced at one point or another. Even as I write this, I wince every time I think back to a recent, miserable failure I experienced. Although this failure was weeks ago, I still feel the sting whenever my mind chooses to wander back to that day.
Although personal development gurus and teachers rightfully advocate taking risks in life, I don’t think they quite emphasize how painful the failures can be from the risks that don’t work out. It has been weeks and I still feel the pain of my most recent failure. And I’m sure others have experienced just as painful failures, losses and rejections as a result of high-risk, high-reward actions that didn’t quite work out. I’m here to tell you that these painful memories don’t fade so easily, no matter how many times you hear a motivational speaker tell you that you need to embrace failure.
I’ve come to know the pain of failure intimately ever since I started taking more calculated risks in my life. And I’ve come to learn a few things about it which may help you, should you ever find yourself in a gloomy state from a recent, unpleasant failure.
1) The pain really is terrible. The more emotional attachment you feel to the outcome you want, the more painful the failure will feel. A lot of “gurus” recommend avoiding such emotional attachments, but sometimes you can’t help it. And sometimes, it’s that emotional attachment that drives you to work harder and persevere longer than you would have normally. Just be aware that these powerful emotions are double-edged swords.
2) You won’t feel like it was worth it while you’re experiencing the pain. The pain is usually acute, sharp and unwavering, and you’ll wish you had never taken that risk. You might feel stupid or foolish for having done so, even if the risk was well-calculated and the right thing to do in that moment. This is a normal part of the recovery process.
3) Talking to friends and reading inspirational pieces will help you feel better, but only temporarily. Unless you’re a very optimistic person by nature (most of us aren’t), our minds like to dwell on the negative from time to time, especially during the rough period after a hard failure. Friends who give you great advice and books that show you how fortunate you are in life can all work to adjust your mood and bring you to a better place, mentally and emotionally. But most of the time, this is only temporary, and you’ll soon find yourself back in a painful spot as you remember and dwell on the failure. Therefore, it’s a wise idea to keep good company and inspirational literature close by for whenever you need a bit of support.
4) Thankfully, the pain does go away. It took years for the pain from some of the epic failures in my life to fade, but it eventually goes away. Remember that while you’re hanging in there. It may not be tomorrow. It may not be in a week, month or even a year from now. But it will go away.
5) As the pain fades over time, you will feel glad you took to route you did (assuming it was a calculated, educated risk, rather than a reckless, foolish one). You played the odds to pursue something you valued. You went after what others wouldn’t dare to pursue. And you failed. But you learned. And you’ll live the rest of your life feeling no regrets about that moment, because you strived as high and acted as intelligently as you could.
6) When you experience that pain again, you’ll feel slightly more immune to it. And you’ll recover a little bit quicker. And it won’t be as painful a memory as your last failure. You’ll start to feel “immune” to the emotional impact of failure. In other words, the potential reward of the risks you take will remain just as high, but the potential losses shrink as you feel less and less emotional pain from failure.
7) When you look back, all of those acute feelings of pain you experienced were nowhere near as bad as the dull, steady pain of those who never took risks, and now hold a lifetime’s worth of regret on their shoulders. That type of pain starts off manageable and easy to ignore. But over one’s lifetime, it becomes an insurmountable cause of unhappiness, with each day becoming more and more painful as the new regrets pile up on top of old ones.
So the next time you find yourself in the midst of pain from failure – a pain so bad, you’ll wish you could go back in time and take the safer route – read the seven points above. It’ll help you cope until you’re ready for your next calculated risk.
In: Motivation
7 Mar 2012

I have great goal tracking software. It’s expensive stuff and has done wonders for helping me manage my goals. But you know what? For motivational purposes, it doesn’t even hold a candle to a simple, $10 wall calendar.
Want to know why?
When you use a wall calendar to track your daily goals, it stares at you every day, announcing your progress loud and clear. When a goal isn’t being achieved, when a giant X or circle denoting success isn’t placed on the calendar, you have to see that every day. When you leave for work/school, and when you come home again. It’s there.
I can close software with the click of a button. I can even just shut down my laptop if I want to avoid my terrible lack of progress. But a giant calendar on the wall isn’t so easy to avoid. It requires a symbolic admission of failure if you were to take it down or hide it from sight. As long as it remains up, the calendar continues to show you, objectively, how well you’re doing. When you’re succeeding, seeing those results every day is immensely gratifying. When you’re procrastinating, the calendar shows you a stark lack of progress that gnaws at that part of you that holds yourself to your highest standards.
So next time you track goals, think about how can you can keep those goals in plain sight so that you see them multiple times a day, every day.
Jerry Seinfeld followed this very same rule to reach success.
So did this inspirational athlete.
It works. And for $10, what are you waiting for?
I'm Jon Guerrera, the man behind the scenes here at Living For Improvement. I'm a life hacker at heart and currently working at a tech start-up in NYC. This blog documents all of my successes, failures, experiments and lessons learned as I hack my way to happiness, fulfillment and success.
I also wrote an ebook. If you like what I write on the blog, you should definitely check it out below. Oh, and it's free.

Unlimited Drive is the result of four years of diligent research on what drives people to achieve great things. I always wondered how the most successful people in the world could reach such high levels of success and accomplishment. Well, I found the answer and wrote an ebook so I could pass it on to you (for free).
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